Vision
I’m grateful for the hope that a clear vision gives me…
Imagine yourself standing on the top of a high mountain peak. You feel exhilarated, and the view from where you are is spectacular. From this viewpoint you can see beautiful green trees, snow-capped mountains, blue sky filled with white fluffy clouds, and winding streams and rivers below. And in the far distance, past the mountains, valleys, trees and streams, you have a clear view of the horizon. It’s a breathtaking sight, where the sun is setting and creating a myriad of colors that swirl and blend together. The sight of the horizon is so magnificent! Although you can see many beauties between where you are and where it is, you are drawn to the magnificence of the horizon. You desire more than anything to go to that place.
The horizon represents a goal or goals that you want in your life. It could be something spiritual, physical, emotional or mental. For me, it represents different things at different times. It always has a spiritual meaning to me; having my eye firmly fixed on things of eternity. But it also represents other things as I set new goals. Currently, my horizon is a healthy and energetic body. That’s what I see when I look past all the obstacles and into the vivid colors on the other side. I know I must go through the valleys and rivers below, and up and down many mountains before I can reach my destination. I know that there will be many hardships, various roads to choose, and unseen challenges along the way. But from the spot where I am now, on top of the mountain peak, I can see that it’s possible to get to the horizon. And it’s worth it!!
For years I have tried to just live with my chronic illness. I’ve often tried to pretend that it wasn’t really there, or to ignore it and push through the symptoms. It seemed that I was always able to do that for a while, but then things would come crashing in and I would hit a downward slope. During those low times, I would finally recognize that I couldn’t go on like this, and that there truly was something wrong. So I would start searching for answers again. I would go back to doctors and begin the long process of tests, specialists, appointments and more tests. After pursing this road for a while, trying to be patient while waiting in between each visit or test, I would once again come to a point of feeling like there was no hope as the results would come back over and over again as “normal”. I appeared to be a very healthy woman, so the doctors wouldn’t know what to do after a while. I would then go through a process of feeling hopeless, then after a while I would convince myself to keep pushing forward and go about “as if nothing was wrong”. And then the whole cycle would start over again. About a year and a half ago as I hit a downslope and was feeling weaker than ever, after my period of feeling hopeless for a while, I became more determined than ever to get to the root of my health problems and begin a journey of healing. At that moment it was as though I was at the top of that mountain peak, looking out over the landscape and into the horizon. I had a vision of a healthy body; vivacious and energetic. I knew I would need to travel a long road to get there, with many obstacles and challenges along the way. But from the view I had at that moment, I knew it would be worth it.
Now that I’m down in the trenches and traveling the road of healing to get to that place of the healthy and complete me that I had envisioned, I have to rely on that image more than ever. When I’m wading through the streams and climbing over rocks and through valleys, or in other words, when the road gets so hard that it almost doesn’t seem worth it, I put the vision of the horizon back into my mind. I mentally place myself back on top of the mountain peak where I could see the horizon so clearly. This perspective reminds me how magnificent that place is, and it reminds me that it’s worth the road that I am traveling now. I also stop and recognize all that I have to be grateful for on this journey. I have guides that are helping to show me the way; family, friends, medical and alternative doctors, and others who have had similar experiences. As I rely on their wisdom, pieces of what they say help guide me through the obstacles I am facing. I continue to meet many people along this journey, that metaphorically invite me to sit at their campfire with them. Some of the advice I receive from them is beneficial to me personally, and some of it I have to use my own judgement on to determine whether or not it is right for me. I’m learning a lot along this journey, and even though at times I may feel stuck, if I look back I begin to realize that I am actually making progress toward my goal. I may not be there yet, but I’m heading toward it, and that is progress. When things begin to seem impossible, I put the vision of the horizon back into my mind; and with that vision, I have hope and determination to keep moving forward toward that magnificent place where I know I will some day be!
Photo by Julentto Photography on Unsplash